34. Our First Court Date

Mama S here- I can’t believe it. Time is flying and I can’t seem to catch up. I’ve been meaning to write a few posts over the past few weeks but I haven’t been able to find the time. I now fully understand people that say things like “I don’t have time to send that email/text/call”. Yikes! Well, anyway, it has been a few weeks since court and I thought I would share an update. Court is scary. Intimidating. Nerve wracking. Exceptionally fast paced.

We had a court date for P just a few weeks ago. We got the notice in the mail about 3 weeks in advance and no additional info.  Mama A and I speculated about court for weeks. We talked about if both parents showed up, if they didn’t, what we would have to say, where we would have to sit, what we would learn, all of it!

The day of court came up and we had no idea what to expect. Mama A wasn’t able to come along, so I packed my stuff up and drove the 1.5 hours to the courthouse where court was (we foster out of county). On the way I chatted via phone with a foster mom from that county. Thank heavens I did. She told me that I would have to sit in the jury box!

I arrived at the court house full of nerves. Sat on an uncomfortable chair outside the courtroom and waited. No one I knew showed up. When the Ongoing Case Manager OCM arrived she didn’t even say hello. I was a ball of nerves and was about to tip over. P’s name was called and I was the only person to get up and walk in. Neither parent was able to attend court that day. One parent I know why, the other I’m not sure.

We walked into the court room and I sat down in the jury box. Because no biological parent was there we breezed through in under 5 minutes. The OCM spoke about case updates and made her recommendations, they asked for my input, the GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) spoke and the judge summarized. That’s it. We walked out and my day at court was over.

I don’t think that the next time I will be AS nervous, but I’m sure I will still feel the jitters. To be in a room where such important decisions are made on behalf of a little lady is a heady responsibility. One I did not take lightly. Neither did anyone else.

I’m not sure what will come next- what our future holds. That is people’s favorite question- how long will she be with you? We don’t know. We don’t know if she will be with us next month, through the summer, next year when we go on vacation, any amount of time. Because of that, we snuggle her tightly each night and cherish our moments with her.

We are fully supportive of family connections and hope that there is a way to grow them even more than we have. If that results in P going to live with a family member- AWESOME! We just hope that we will be able to stay in her life. We hope that if/when that time comes, our family and friends will be supportive and loving and help us to move through the pain that we will surely feel, while also (and possibly more importantly) celebrate the happiness that P will feel getting to live with family. Who knows what the future will hold. Today, we focus on school, after school activities, and being our best selves. The rest will work itself out.

Until next time,

Mama S

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